...to create


with no compromises!


Submitted By:

Saralah Devi Mariamdaran Chethiyar

Assoc Prof, Psychology & Counselling Program, School of Applied Psychology, Social Work and Policy, College of Arts and Sciences, University Utara Malaysia.


Mrs. Lishalini Muniandy

Mdm Mohanamerry Vedamanikam

Ph.D. Candidate (Psychology), School of Applied Psychology, Social Work and Policy, College of Arts and Sciences, University Utara Malaysia.



The journey of life is full of unexpected events and turning points and at times it brings to regression. Each decision matters as it would determine the next direction or result in detrimental situation such as end up behind the bars. Speaking with clients during counselling session unveils many stories about them, of which this article is about decision by a young girl under depression and anger which resulted her end up behind the bars.

At the age of early 20s, she was an energetic and sporting girl but had the profile of ex-drug addict. With feelings hatred towards males and her parents, she holds to her reservation in allowing the counselling session but finally she agreed. She had justified of her being a drug addict, with reasons of no chance to speak and unfair treatment.

First day was merely adjustment as she was still in the mind of hatred but the chance to given for her to speak turned the second day full of sentiments and tears of the untold story for many years. She had gone through a tough childhood and badly hurt which had affected her as she was growing. She had two elder brothers and with both parents, her initial childhood was full of happiness until she lost her father when she was a teenager. It was very hard for her as she was just stepping into high school and started losing concertation on her studies. A year later another shocking news was awaiting, that her mother decided to remarry and there was not any reaction from her brothers. She was still trying to overcome the sorrow of losing her father and could not accept her mother’s decision to bring in a stranger to replace her father. Her mother went on with her decision, the stepfather who was a divorcee and his son became part of their family.

She became silent and mostly shut herself in her room, as she felt that there is no one willing to hear her grievances. As this went on, she became victim of a nightmare a young girl should never go through. One night, when everyone was asleep, she felt that there is something crawling towards her private part. She woke up but unable to scream as her mouth was shut with hands. With the help of the dim light from her window she noticed it was her stepbrother!!! The shock and fear were unexplainable, but she tried to move in the hope to run out of the room. However, the grasp of her stepbrother was very hard that it was hurtful, and she was unable to move an inch. He whispered that she should be corporate with him, and he had threatened her. She ignored the threat and tried hard to escape but failed and sadly the unexpected moments happened. The pain was unbearable, but that night changed her life. The hatred feeling was rooted in her and started to grow stronger.

She felt humiliated and disgusted on what has happened to her. Now she regrets more losing the father as her life would have been happy and wouldn’t have such nightmare. Her complaint on her stepbrother was not heard by her mother as it was taken as plot against the remarriage. All the attempts to explain her situation failed. The stepbrother took advantage of this situation and continued his pleasure with nobody to question him.

After few years, she came across a group of peers who seem to have happy lifestyle. They were consuming something and offered the same to her. At the first try, she felt as if she was in heaven flying above and this is the moment, she felt that all her pain was gone. As it made her feel good, she started to consume it.

This started the drug addiction, but she felt that her friends make her happy. She knew it was wrong, but this was the only way for her to forget all her sorrows. There were boys in that group, but they did not try to take advantage of her. Now she started to feel that life as drug addict is better than normal person who is full of selfishness. She claims that she is happy with her bunch of friends. She took up part time jobs to buy drugs and spent most of the time hanging around with other drug addicts. Her stepbrother continued the pleasure seeking but she did not fight back as it was worthless. More and more she was losing her faith in men.

One day, she was taken by the authorities and was sent to a rehab centre in Kelantan. Those at the rehab centre heard her story and was not judgemental of her becoming as drug addict. After 3 years of rehab, she went back to her family, but they still deemed her as drug addict. No change in the attitude of her stepbrother who attempted to continue his misbehaviours, but it was not the same as she fights and hit him hard, teaching him a lesson.

Her mother was still in denial and accused her of hurting her stepbrother under the influence of drug. She decided to leave and to be on her own. She started to earn and felt returning to drug will heal all the pain and disappointments. To earn more, she became drug supplier but was caught again by authorities and was punished for 4 years. Those serving punishment with her has given her a comfort by listening to her story and understanding her life journey.

She appreciated with session and all the positive words she heard throughout the session. It was also a change of mindset where she agreed not all men are bad hope to find a pleasant gentleman. However, the scars caused by her stepbrother made her difficult to trust men.

It makes me to think that right place to voice out and timely guidance influence decisions in life and avoid wrong turnings that could be detrimental and detaching a person from the usual lifestyle to a place behind the big walls in a different world……


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